Blind Date #1

While getting ready for work, I caught a segment they did on the Today show about how mothers like to try to be matchmakers for their daughters. Thankfully, my mother is more talk than action in this area - however, my "friends" on the other hand have tried this matchmaking thing a time or two and tend to talk about it even more than my mom! Between watching that segment and reading a fellow blogger's blind date post, I thought I might do a two-part post of my blind date experiences. We'll call the first guy Holy Boy.


Blind Date #1:
My best friend (who is married) e-mailed me and tagged onto the end of her e-mail that she had this great guy that she wanted to hook me up with who lives in Houston. My attitude was to take advantage of most opportunities presented to me, so I told her sure – bring it on. Thus, she e-mailed Holy Boy, whom she had gone to college with. While they were in college together, they ran in the same circles but were more acquaintances than good friends (this should have been my first clue!). Holy Boy and I email and IM for a couple of weeks and trade pics via e-mail. He seemed fairly attractive, but even from the pics you can’t really tell much about how a person looks in proportion to other people (this will factor in later). We finally decided to meet up. First, we tried to meet up for coffee, but considering he wasn't much for planning ahead – AT ALL – it took us about three attempts over the coarse of the weekend to get together. That right there is annoying. If you've got a busy weekend, then suggest a later date don't continue to try to make plans with me and continually postpone because you've forgotten these other things you've committed to do. I've got my own life full of things that need to get done, too - thank you very much. Here’s some background on Holy Boy that I managed to accumulate before meeting up with him: he grew up in a missionary family; his sister and her husband are missionaries; he has a job and supports himself but ultimately wants to become a missionary; he is active at his church; he likes to dance; he has similar taste in TV shows and humor. Sounds pretty okay for me, right? Ugh…We went to dinner at Gringo’s (my unfortunate suggestion – I mistakenly called it a Mexican restaurant, which he felt obliged to correct me in conversation several times – it's Tex-Mex). I had had a HUGE lunch earlier that day. Had I known that I would be going out to eat that evening, I probably wouldn’t have eaten as much, but considering Holy Boy didn’t call until close to the end of the work day and I had figured that we would just be meeting up for coffee like we had been trying to ALL weekend, I went ahead and ate to my heart’s content. Anyways, back to the date. We met at the restaurant. I saw him standing there as I walked up and couldn't help thinking “Dang, he’s pretty darn skinny.” This became a thought that continued to pop into my head throughout the entire meal because I could not get over the fact that I probably outweighed this guy. Anyways, thankfully the conversation was fairly steady, no big gaps of silence. Although, throughout the meal I kept getting this sense of him being a little “holier-than-thou.” I don’t know, some people may think that about me, too, I’d hope not. I’d hope I come across as a more genuine than that. He talked about the salsa and hip-hop aerobics classes he taught on the side. I asked if he still taught the classes, but he said no he had to stop teaching them. You see, as I’m sure we're all well aware, the lyrics in many hip-hop songs are very sexual in content. He was starting to wake up in the mornings with the pictures of the lyrics in his head, and he couldn't have that. And that's a fine enough explanation, but he had to follow it up with the fact that he'd also been hanging out with some of the students in his classes afterwards, and a few of the women were developing crushes on him, and that just wasn’t appropriate. Note to self: on a first date make sure to mention how other members of the opposite sex are crushing on me – it’ll make my date want me more...or maybe not so much. And all that talk about me eating a big lunch plays into how I barely ate any of my dinner. I kind of felt bad about that, but not too bad since I hadn't planned on going out to eat that evening. Finally the date was over, we left the restaurant and he walked me in the general direction of my car. We did the side-hug thing (which only reinforced my earlier feeling that I could probably crush this guy if I squeezed too hard). He said he'd call...(I hoped not). I left more than happy to go back to my dateless state, and thankfully it must have been mutual as he did not make any move to contact me. While it worked out well for me that he didn't call - guys really need to not use that as their standard parting line if they have no intention of following it up. Overall, the date wasn't horrible - it just wasn't a good fit.

I am NOT a morning person

It's 10am, and truthfully I'm just starting to feel the teeniest bit ready for the day. And I've been up since 6am. Even after 3 years of working at SYSCO and being at the office by 7:30am each morning, I am still NOT a morning person. Even my boss at SYSCO commented that I didn't really come alive until 10am! I have never been a morning person. I attribute this to the Rundle side of the family because my mom is most definitely a morning person. You can only imagine how badly that worked out when I was still living at home. As many know, I'm not a big talker in general, but I'm pretty much mute in the mornings. Yet, that almost always seemed to be when my mom liked to play 20 questions with me. NOTE to everyone else, please don't do that. I try to live by the rule, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" in the mornings. You've been warned! My dad wasn't a morning person either, and neither is his sister or my sister. When I was in middle school and high school, I would regularly sleep until noon or 1pm on Saturday mornings because I could...and because I LOVE sleep. I especially love sleep when it's cold, and I can snuggle lower beneath the warm, cozy covers. I could spend all day in bed like that - just a big lazy bump on a log covered in mounds of blankets (sigh). Typically, I'm a night person. Although, when I was in Houston, working full-time, and busy Monday through Thursday evening, by Friday I was pitifully zonked out and in bed by 9pm.

Where did this "NOT a morning person" diatribe come from? Pretty much just because I had to get up earlier than usual to take my bosses to the airport this morning. However, I only had to meet them at 7am to take them to the airport, which really isn't all that early but because I'm not a morning person it's like pulling teeth. And I knew I would need to get up a bit earlier (6am) and have some God time in order to be at least polite on the drive to the airport. I knew there was no way I'd be allowed to be completely mute on the drive there. And I'm definitely wishing I could go crawl back into bed and sleep...until tomorrow :)

Expelled

This movie is definitely worth going to see! It's refreshing that there are scientists out there who actually would like to have an open debate - it's a shame that many of the Darwinists are so quick to object to a dialog and to dismiss the science behind an Intelligent Design position. Go check it out!

Singleness

Much has been made about my singleness for many years now. Per usual, like at every other place I have worked, my singleness has been the topic of several discussions at my new job. However, it is typically brought up by one particularly irritating co-worker who continues to refuse to believe that I know myself well enough to know how I truly feel about my own singleness. Thankfully, there are only a few people in my life like him who really seem to want to pile on the pressure for me to hurry into marriage. I understand that to some - being 28 years old and unmarried and not even dating - well that's tantamount to being an old maid! Whatever...For me it means that I'm not going to fall all over a guy just because he has a pulse and a job.

And what is the hurry? Granted, I never thought I'd still be single at 28, but I'd rather be single than desperate and end up in a bad marriage because I just couldn't stand to be single any longer. I have standards that I'm not willing to compromise, nor do I believe they're unreasonable. Here are the main non-negotiable ones:

1. Attractiveness: Christians often try to make themselves look more righteous by saying, "it's what is on the inside that really counts." While what is on the inside counts a LOT, being physically attracted to a person is pretty darn important too.
2. Growing Christian: If a guy is not making the effort to grow in his faith and relationship with Christ, I cannot not allow my heart to become romantically entangled with his.
3. Humor: I LOVE to laugh. A man with a quick, dry wit is my kryptonite - think Hugh Laurie.
4. Financial Stability: I am able to financially support myself and stay out of debt. I expect him to be able to do the same or at least be working hard to pay off any debt he has incurred.
5. Accountability: I have a strong group of women who I lean on, confess to, and look to for advice. I expect him to also have this in place or be actively seeking it out. In my book, it is imperative for both people to have strong influences of accountability in their lives to challenge them to address the tough issues in their relationship.
6. No cats: They're gross, and I'm allergic.

As for how I feel about my own singleness, I am quite fine with my status. I don't sit at home crying myself to sleep at night desperate to be in a relationship (contrary to what my co-worker would like to believe). I'm an introvert - I enjoy my alone time, and it's not as if I don't ever go out. I've never been the person to go out and party all night, or date a different guy each night of the week. In truth, I could probably count the number of dates I've ever been on, on one hand - and I'm okay with that. Now, I'm no Paul - I don't desire lifelong singleness. I would love to get married and have children someday, but I don't see any reason to be desperate about it. Being desperate is dangerous because it causes one to forget and compromise their standards. The goal of my life is not to end my singleness with marriage, the goal of my life is to honor God and there is plenty to be done in this world to fulfill that that has nothing to do with marriage. I choose to focus on that rather than wallow in self-pity about being single. Do I have moments of depression and self-pity about my singleness? Sure, I'm no super woman. However, those moments are fleeting in comparison to the contentment and security I have as I continue following His lead in this aspect of my life.

PLT

A few of my blogging friends are doing this thing called PLT: Picture Looking Through and while I was just sitting here at my temporary workspace, I looked to my left and thought...hmmmmm, that might make a good PLT. So, I snapped it with my cell phone. I am looking through mine (really Shane's) office door through the door of my future office (currently John's) through the door to Kevin's office. Hopefully, I'll be moving in to my office tomorrow! (John doesn't know that yet, but he's pretty flexible).

So funny...

This is too funny not to share with any and every person that I can:





One of the Ramsey brothers who helped to create this comedic gem, Richard Ramsey, will be joining the City on a Hill Productions staff this summer. Check out the other films offered by the Ramsey brothers on YouTube.

Valiant, Vulnerable & Scandalous

"A woman who is living out her true design will be valiant, vulnerable, and scandalous." - John Eldredge

I first came across this quote while it was scrawled across a picture frame that my friend, Laura, had in her apartment. The picture was of a group of girls (including miss Laura) clad in pink t-shirts and shorts or capris - all of them hamming it up in semi-provocative poses. It was adorable! I asked her where the quote was from and what the story was behind the picture. She told me that the quote was from John Eldredge's book, "Wild at Heart" - and the story behind the picture was that this group of girls would regularly play pranks on their guy friends - and part of their signature was to have "scandalous" written out in pink. When I returned home after my visit with Laura, I wrote the quote on my bathroom mirror in red dry erase marker. Valiant, vulnerable, scandalous...which one of those words sticks out to you? Which one kind of scares you?

The one that still scares me is vulnerable. I love authenticity and transparency, and I desperately want to be like that but it requires so much vulnerability. One baby step at a time, I feel like I'm making some headway in this arena, but I have a LONG way left to go. I struggle the most with being vocally vulnerable. I don't mind opening as much when I'm writing in a blog like this or in an e-mail because well for one thing - it's not as though I have a massive blog audience...and I can eloquently craft and massage my written vulnerability, whereas in conversation you're kind of on the spot, and I often get anxious and my thoughts get all jumbled in my head and a lot of times it takes me while to mull things over before I know what I think about a topic and by then the discussion has usually moved on. And sometimes people just look at me and want me to talk - and I don't know what to talk about - I'm not some performance monkey that has magical conversation that will flow out of me if you look at me long enough...what do you want me to talk about? And I guess that's part of it to, is that a lot of times I don't talk because I don't know what the other person wants me to say. But why do I care so much if I say whatever it is that I think they want me to say? I feel like I have very strong values, standards, opinions - and yet I get caught up in worrying about what is it that they want me to say. How ridiculous is that? Umm, pretty darn...which then begins the downward cycle of getting frustrated with myself in that and the self-condemnation...and it's just ugly and silly. But please bear with me, I am trying to break free of this - your patience is much appreciated!

And scandalous - well that just sounds fun! And for me it relates back to my last blog and that whole trying new things and not worrying about failure. To be scandalous - shocking...hmmm, I may need some suggestions in this area. I'm usually pretty laid back and conservative. And how does one become scandalous and still stay within the bounds of godliness?

Then there is valiant, which I seem to equate more with strength - although it also connotes bravery and courage. Bravery and courage are things I don't always feel in possession of - especially since for me those are part of what I need to help me become more vulnerable - ugh. Strength, however, is something that I would claim to have plenty of - what with being a strong, capable, single woman who's got to push through and do it all on her own. Of course, this is also my downfall. All of this "strength" has turned into a nasty, hard, icy shell that is melting and even being lovingly chipped away by others to allow for more freedom to be vulnerable.

And that's really what I need to remember about vulnerability - there's freedom in vulnerability and transparency. No longer hiding part of myself away just because I don't think it's all that interesting or that I don't think others will find it all that interesting. And don't ask me what "it" is because I don't know. I don't know exactly what part(s) of me I'm hiding away, but I know that I do it - that I clam up a LOT in social situations.

So there you have it, that's me in relation to this quote...how does it speak to you?