Explicate Your Analog...

Now that my trip to Houston has come and gone, I can finally get down to the business of unpacking for anyone reading this rambling blog - why in the world I'm blogging and what led me to choose Song of Songs 2:10 as the theme of my blog. In the words of my father, I must "explicate my analog."

My journey to Louisville, KY began about two years ago when Marcie McClendon challenged me by saying that she didn't see me working at SYSCO for the rest of my life. At the time, I thought I was fairly content. I had a great job, had been out on my own for over a year, loved my church home even though it was going through some turmoil...and yet what she said gave voice to this part of me I had been pushing down for years - that God might have something more for me out there, something that He was preparing for me. Of course, it took these past two years for me to even come around to accepting that because of the walls I had built up most of my life. You've got to love how your family of origin contributes to your view and interpretation of God. As such, I didn't believe that He was all that fond of me. Intellectually (because the Bible says so), I knew He loved me - but I had seemingly interpreted that love as the kind of love that one might have for a relative you just "have" to love because you're related. I had no idea of the depth and sweetness of His love for me, His jealousy and pursuit of my heart, or the gentleness with which He would woo me into His embrace. I'm getting misty just thinking about Him!

Back to the journey...As I sought out what and where He wanted me to go, one opportunity before me was England. I have dreamed of going to England almost as long as I've been alive, and Marcie was able to connect me with a group going to England as part of a vision trip for a mission trip they would be doing the following year. In the fall of 2005, I went on a trip with a group of complete strangers to England to see if God wanted me to work with the youth of northern England. The trip was fantastic; England was gorgeous; but while I am still in love with the United Kingdom it did not seem that was the place for me - plus unbeknownst to me God wasn't quite done preparing me for my next adventure. That winter was also the first time I got to visit my friends in Louisville. I had taken one other trip that year to New York City, but of all my traveling my visit to Louisville was the most relaxing.

Throughout 2006, God continued to challenge me and woo me. He forged within me a desire to reach out to young single women between the ages of 18 and 30. Thus, I opened up my apartment on Tuesday nights to those who wanted to come, rest, share, and grow in the Lord. There ended up only being two young women who attended regularly, but we plunged ahead to see what God had in store for us through John and Stacy Eldridge's book, Captivating. I had already read through the book once, gone back and read through it a second time dwelling and working through certain hard-hitting parts, and yet He still had even more for me as we dissected it together. It was during my third jaunt through Captivating that the Lord was opening me up further.

In February of 2007, as the girls and I were still slowly making our way through Captivating (you see we had to sprinkle our time equally with chick flicks and all out therapy gab sessions in order for it to be a well-rounded women's study group), I received an e-mail from my friend Kevin Bryan. In it he was extolling all the amazing things God was doing through City on a Hill, and ended with a plea for my help as he and Shane were in desperate need of an assistant to organize them - would I be willing to change my worldview on fundraising? And as much as the Lord had been growing me - my first and immediate response to him was - no thank you! Been there, done that - didn't go so well. Yet, after more study, more stretching, more gentle nudging and tugging by God on that place within me yearning for adventure - I e-mailed Kevin that God was in fact changing my worldview on fundraising and I would like to reconsider the opening at City on a Hill.

So where does Song of Songs 2:10 fit in? Well, it was one of the verses that My Lover used to speak tenderly to me, to draw me out of my cozy hibernation in Houston to follow Him and trust Him that He's got something for me to do here in Louisville and something to show me, as well. He has dazzled me with the fiery colors of fall and caused me to sink lower beneath my warm bed covers with the cold morning air. He arranged for me to stay with the generous Bryan family before granting me a place of my own again, and He has surrounded me with new friends and acquaintances. I am loving all of it and looking forward to where and what else He will invite me to "come along" with Him!